Thesis Workshop - Blog 9 Josh Freetly

 My thesis for my rough draft over the song "Johnny Boy" is "He makes use of vague language throughout, making the song about the current struggle of the listener". This presents a stance that vague language makes the song universally relatable but it isn't really that argumentative. I could make it more like an argument by stating my reasons for this, thus outlining my ideas and arguments. As far as focus goes I think it makes an appropriately focused argument of reliability through specific uses of language. Alternative arguments as to who is supposed to relate to the song or what it is about could be presented. An example of a counterargument would be "This song is about a man named Johnny challenging society." The evidence to support this is examples of language used in the song and these are in the form of the choice of name, pronouns, and Joseph inserting himself into the song. These however are stated after the thesis and should be merged to one sentence. It explains why it should be argued through saying it is universally relatble thus showing why it should be argued and supported. It is rather undirected as it states the argument but doesn't really outline it. 

A revised thesis could be: The song "Johnny Boy" is universally relatable through it's use of vague language in the form of the choice of name, the use pronouns, and Joseph inserting himself into the song.